Last time, we talked about how to start getting the ball rolling when your only real desire is to do “nothing”. This week, we’re looking at how to identify the pieces of your purpose and passion that will fuel you for the long haul. This is where we tend to come up against some powerful blocks on the journey. Here are some ways to push past the discomfort.

As you start to gain momentum and identify the activities and values that motivate you, taking the long view on the impact you want to have can still be challenging. When I was recovering from spinal surgery, I had identified the pieces I needed to thrive at work but I still couldn’t name a particular “passion” for anything. I was blocked by some powerful misbeliefs and fears. As I’ve worked with others who are overcoming burnout, I discovered some common themes:

Misbelief #1: Passion is something that you are super talented at, and have been since an early age.

I think there’s a tendency to think of prodigies when we think about people who are passionate. There’s the image of this person who is a natural violinist or is brilliant at math, and this becomes their sole passion and purpose in life. This seems like a terrible burden for anyone that showed a special talent as a child. It also carries a disempowering belief that unless you have some unbelievable natural talent for something, you aren’t allowed to be passionate about it. Vera Wang didn’t start designing clothes until she was 40. Steven Pressfield was in his 50s when his first novel was published. As Steven says, “1. Talent is bullsh*t. 2. The work is everything.”

Passions can change over time, and depend deeply on your life experiences. You may not have uncovered any big passions yet, but that doesn’t mean you never will. You’re also allowed to be really into drawing as a teen, and become passionate about medicine as an adult, or decide that your purpose is more aligned with educating girls in underdeveloped countries. It’s ok to change your mind, and develop new passions as you experience life or explore new ideas.

Misbelief #2: Passion is something that you are singularly obsessed with.

Often, what accompanies these misbeliefs is a fear of judgment. We worry that our family and friends will label us “flakes” if we decide that we are no longer interested in an old hobby or obsession. We fear that we’re “too late” to join a movement or explore a new set of interests and skills.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

How do we uncover our sense of purpose and passion?

In The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams, Dr. Tererai Trent asks us to reflect on the question: “What breaks your heart?” Leaning into this question opens up our inner desires and dreams. Make the time to meditate on this and journal about what comes up for you.

Sometimes the fear of commitment to a project or problem can get in the way. The inner voice speaks up and says “who am I to try and solve this problem?” A million reasons why you’re not experienced enough, skilled enough, or wealthy enough and so on will crop up and keep you from moving forward. This can also creep in as the excuse “so many other, more experienced people are already working on this”. If the problem still exists, there’s still a need for people who are passionate about solving it. Why not you?

The other fear that crops up is related to a sort of whataboutism, where you fear that your passion isn’t “important enough”. How can I be passionate about designing an app to find a career mentor when there are starving children in the world (or other so-called real problems)? Here is that fear of judgment again, where we worry about how others will react to our stated passion. We have a natural human desire to fit in and please others, but this is an impossible goal. What other people think is not something you can control, and no matter what you choose someone will find fault with it. The point is to decide what it is that YOU want to do with your life since you are the one who will be doing the hard work to live it.

How do we uncover our unique gifts and contributions?

Even in the best of times, we can be blind to our gifts. The things that come naturally to us seem inconsequential, or we assume that because it’s easy for us that “everyone can do it”. When we’re in the burnout cycle, there’s usually an added layer of misbelief that we’re not particularly “good” at anything.

Make a list of 3-5 people who have witnessed you at your best. They can be friends, family members, mentors, or coworkers/classmates. Choose people that you know have your back and support you, who don’t try to make you feel small in order to boost themselves up. Text or email them the following question: “What is my superpower? What am I really good at that I don’t realize is special?” I know this is vulnerable and uncomfortable, but the results are powerful and I have yet to meet anyone who had a poor experience with this exercise.

Get curious.

Try a new hobby. Sign up for a class at the local craft store or community center. I recommend in-person learning over online learning especially when you’re going outside of your comfort zone. You’re much more likely to follow-through when you have actual human beings who are expecting you to be in the classroom.

Not sure what to try? Explore your browsing history- what stories and ideas have caught your attention? Lean into the reflection, and ask what it is that makes those ideas/places/activities interesting to you. What does this bring into my life? How does it satisfy my values?

Look at the big picture.

Put your reflections and discoveries from this process side-by-side. What patterns and overlaps do you see between your passions, purpose, gifts, and interests? You may be surprised at what comes to the surface when you compare your notes. Be open to new perspectives and ideas on what you can do next to fulfill your sense of purpose. Realize that this is pointing toward a long-term goal, and doesn’t need to be something you can shift overnight. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to start taking the small steps that will lead you closer to your life goals.

Download the full ebook for the 5-step BLAZE your PATH process using the form below, or schedule a consult session with me to discuss your goals together. You can make the shifts that will bring your life into harmony with your purpose and passion, and it doesn’t need to be overwhelming.