Why resolutions fail
Most Americans will set ambitious resolutions for the new year, typically health or finance-related goals. Already my inbox is filled with offers for gym memberships, weight loss programs and business-boosting workshops. While we all set out with the best intentions, only half of the resolution-makers will still be at it by the first of February, and 80% will have quit by mid-February.
Common issues that lead to quitting a resolution include setting goals that are unrealistic, lack of accountability/planning, or low motivation. Having too many goals is also a key factor in why resolutions don’t stick. Choose one main goal to focus on for the best success.
3 Components for Successful Resolutions
Shifting your mindset from a specific outcome to focus on the journey and progress is crucial. Here are three key components to shift your resolution into something that sticks.
Start with a clear WHY
Create a flexible path to success
Celebrate your wins, no matter how small
Start with a clear WHY
The motivation of excitement on January 1st quickly evaporates once our brains say it’s going to take more than 24 hours to reach the goal. When you have a clear sense of purpose, motivation is more sustainable. Look at your resolution and dig deeper. Keep asking “Why is this important to me right now?” Get to the core of what you really want- this is usually a feeling and not a specific outcome like dress size or income level.
Example: I want to lose 10 pounds.
Why do you want to lose 10 pounds? I want to look good in that strapless dress for my cousin’s wedding in June.
Why is that important to you right now? I want to feel comfortable in my skin.
What do you really want? Confidence.
Keep digging in until you get to one word for the feeling you want to capture. You’ll know when you hit upon it. For me, when I hit the core goal I can feel it like a punch in the guts. That sounds harsh, but for me, it’s typically a realization of something that I’ve been ignoring for a long time. Hopefully, for you it’s something more gentle like a warmth in your heart.
Create a flexible path to success
A key reason why you want to get to your core goal (the feeling) is that there is more than one success path to this goal. It’s also much easier to generate small wins that will create the momentum you need to keep going.
Begin with a brainstorm: list all of the ways you can achieve your core goal, big and small, easy and challenging. Focus on the process instead of the outcome, for example, I want to be more financially stable instead of I want to get that promotion. While doing what is needed to make progress toward a promotion, you can also do small things like skipping Starbucks in the morning and making your coffee at home instead. This view makes it easier to recognize opportunities when they arise also because you’re stepping out of the tunnel vision that defines success as a sole outcome (promotion) when you can achieve your goal through taking that job outside the city where cost of living is cheaper, or start that side hustle you’ve been thinking about.
Example: Knowing that the core goal is confidence while taking steps to work out or eat healthily, you can make better choices about HOW to approach these. Maybe there’s a step aerobics class at the gym near work but you’re clumsy AF and classes like that definitely do NOT help you feel confident. Perhaps the cycling class is a better fit since there’s no chance of tripping on your classmates. When you’re feeling demotivated, you can do something easy like strike some power poses or read “You’re a Badass”.
Celebrate your wins, no matter how small
Studies have found that immediate rewards (rather than waiting until the “end” goal) lead to greater and more sustained motivation:
Kaitlin Woolley ’12, assistant professor of marketing, found that giving people an immediate bonus for working on a task, rather than waiting until the end of the task to reward them, increased their interest and enjoyment in the task. People who got an earlier bonus were more motivated to pursue the activity for its own sake and even continued with the activity after the reward was removed.
Decide ahead of time how you will celebrate and what progress markers you will look for. Keep your core goal and process in mind and look for opportunities to celebrate. Rewards need not be expensive or self-sabotaging, rather look at what you enjoy doing and carve out the best gift of all: time.
Example: Doing power poses seems silly but you do it anyway. You reward yourself with an episode of that really sappy romance show that you pretend not to like when in the company of hipsters.
Willing to try this new approach? email me and let me know how it’s going!
This story was originally published on Medium.com